5-day plan: love and respect in marriage (based on Ephesians 5)

5-day plan based on Ephesians 5 to rekindle love and respect in marriage with reflections, biblical readings and practices for a united home.

We live in times of great haste, impatient words and pressures that wear out homes. Many couples love it deeply, but find themselves trapped in cycles of frustration, poor communication and unspoken expectations. The result is emotional distance and tiredness, precisely where God dreamed of intimacy, partnership and joy.

This devotional plan of 5 days offers a biblical, simple and transforming path to rekindle love and respect in marriage. based on Ephesians 5, will invite you to remember the purpose of God For the covenant, the practice of sacrificial love and respect that builds, and the construction of a culture of holiness and mission in the home.

Every day, you will find pastoral reflections, biblical reading and practical exercises. The goal is to cultivate step by step a relationship rooted in Christ, in which love and respect in marriage are not just beautiful ideas, but a daily and tangible reality.

May the Lord use this time to heal, strengthen and renew hope, leading you to the unity and peace that only He can give.


Day 1: The Foundation of the Covenant – Mutual Submission and Imitation of Christ

The beginning of all marital transformation takes place in Christ. When he is the center, the heart redirects and the home finds a new cadence. In Ephesians 5, before talking about papers, Paul presents a principle that sustains everything.

The marital relationship is not a power struggle, but a shared discipleship, a journey of surrendering both to the Lord.

Therefore, the first practice is to choose, daily, humility.

Mutual submission does not mean erasure, but service. It is the conscious “yes” to the care, honor and good of the other. This path makes room for the Holy Spirit.

Today, reflect on how you have been treated in routines, decisions and words. Christ calls us to imitate him, and that changes the way we love and respect.

Illustration of Jesus talking to the Samaritan woman
Illustration of Jesus talking to the Samaritan woman

Bible Reading: Ephesians 5:1-2, 21

“Therefore, be imitators of God, as beloved children, and live in love, as Christ also loved us and gave himself for us as an offering and sacrifice of a pleasing aroma to God.”

“Subject one another out of fear of Christ.”

Ephesians 5:1-2, 21 (NIV)

Reflection:

Ephesians 5 begins with an invitation: imitate God and live in love. It’s not sentimentality; It is the decision to act like Christ, who gave himself up. This “love that gives itself” is the fertile soil of a solid marriage.

Before the specific roles, Paul establishes the principle of mutual submission. The home’s climate changes when they both choose to serve.

To submit to one another is to renounce the imposition of will in exchange for the search for the best of the other. It means speaking with honor, deciding with prayer and acting patiently. It is a dance of humility, not a hierarchy of value. When a couple practices this, it disarms the disputes, reduces defensiveness and opens the way for reconciliation.

This pattern does not legitimize abuse or control. Any relationship that hurts, humiliates or threatens security against Christ. Christian submission flourishes in the environment of love and dignity. In Christ, love and respect in marriage become the daily language of a healthy covenant.

Practical application:

Our practical application goes through 3 simple steps:

  1. Route of Humility;
  2. word thermometer;
  3. Grace’s agenda.

Route of Humility

Separately, write in a notebook two recent situations in which they sought to “be right” instead of listening. Share kindly, ask for forgiveness and set together a practical gesture of mutual service this week.

word thermometer

Record (with consent) a conversation about a common home topic. Then listen together and identify an expression that needs to be replaced by a more honorable one. Create a “bridge phrase” to use in future conversations.

Grace’s Agenda

Allow 15 minutes a day for five days to thank three attitudes from the spouse. Register in the same file. At the end of the week, read the compilation of gratitude aloud.


Day 2: Love that gives itself – the call of the husband in the likeness of Christ

Loving as Christ loved the Church is a mission that exceeds romanticism. It is a commitment to the growth and sanctification of the other. This includes presence, listening and willingness to lose one’s will in favor of the greater good.

Sacrificial love does not control; frees. does not erase; lights up. He is firm and tender, true and patient. He sets the home tone and encourages his wife to flourish.

This calling is not weight, it is grace that God himself empowers. The husband who loves like this becomes a partner in the action of the Spirit in the home, promoting security and honor.

Today, we will revisit the heart of this love that sustains and restores.

7 day family pardon plan
7 day family pardon plan

Bible Reading: Ephesians 5:25-28

“Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the Church and gave Himself for it, to sanctify it, having cleansed it by washing the water by the word, and to present it to itself as a glorious church, without stain or wrinkle or Similar thing, but holy and blameless.

Likewise, husbands must love their wives as their own bodies. Whoever loves his wife loves himself.”

Ephesians 5:25-28 (NIV)

Reflection:

Paul places the rule of conjugal love in the highest possible standard: Christ. He surrendered, aiming at the sanctification of the Church. The husband’s love, therefore, is active and spiritual: he takes care of the soul, protects, encourages, edifies. This love is not authoritarian; It’s redeeming. seeks the beauty of Christ blooming in the life of the wife.

Loving as oneself is not selfishness, it is an understanding of unity. Taking care of the wife is taking care of one’s own body, because the covenant made you “one”. Thus, neglect, indifference and harsh words hurt both. On the contrary, presence, honor and intercession strengthen communion.

Important: This text does not legitimize manipulation or violence. Any form of abuse is sin and requires protection and help. The love of Christ heals, does not hurt; Sanctify, do not oppress. On this path, love and respect in marriage gain practical and safe contours.

Practical application:

Our practical application goes through 3 simple steps:

  1. care GPS;
  2. words that work;
  3. time guard.

care gps

List three current needs of your wife (emotional, spiritual, routines). Combine specific actions to supply each one this week and schedule the calendar. Review together at the end.

Words that draw

Send a daily message of sincere affirmation for five days, citing a quality and a fruit of Christ that you see in it. Be specific and true.

weather guard

Protect a weekly “sacred time” for connection (without screens). Plan together a simple script: listening, brief prayer and a pleasurable activity.


Day 3: Respect that edifies – the gentle force of the wife

Respect is not silence, it is wisdom that builds. Culture often confuses respect with passivity; The Bible points to honor, partnership and voice that bless without hurting. Respect is love language.

When the wife chooses to honor, she does not cancel her own identity.

On the contrary, it actively participates in the advancement of the home. His gaze, words and posture become encouragement for the husband to assume his calling in Christ.

This respect is the fruit of the spirit, not the perfection of the other. and never justifies tolerating abuse.

Where there is control and aggression, it is necessary to seek protection and help. In Christ, respect is a way of life.

Today, we will discern this biblical respect and its fruits in everyday life.

Kneeling woman praying and crying (Desert Discipline)
Kneeling woman praying and crying (Desert Discipline)

Bible Reading: Ephesians 5:22-24, 33b

“Women, subject to their husbands, as with the Lord, for the husband is the head of the wife, as Christ is also the head of the Church, which is his body, of which he is the Savior.

Just as the Church is subject to Christ, so women are subject to their husbands in everything.”

“…and the wife treats her husband with all due respect.”

Ephesians 5:22-24, 33b (NIV)

Reflection:

The context of Ephesians 5 includes mutual submission (v. 21). Orientation to the wife, therefore, does not inferiorize it; invites her to play a role of honor and cooperation. The “head” in Christ is not a tyrant; It’s servant. Thus, respect flows where sacrificial love leads, and together they reflect the gospel.

Biblical respect means recognizing and affirming the value of the husband, his dignity and efforts, even when imperfect. It is not swallowing injustices or silencing pain. It is choosing a voice that edifies, communicates clearly and seeks solutions, not humiliations. Respect and love go hand in hand and feed back.

Important to remember: Respect is not a tolerance for sin or violence. When there is risk, seek pastoral and professional help immediately. God’s plan is full life, where love and respect in marriage bloom in security and hope.

Practical application:

Our practical application goes through 3 simple steps:

  1. Glasses of Honor;
  2. 3C communication (clear, short, compassionate);
  3. Directed Gratitude Diary.

HONOR GLASSES

List three qualities and three recent efforts from your husband. Share verbally with him today. Be concrete: Describe the impact of these attitudes on you and the family.

3C communication (clear, short, compassionate)

When approaching a sensitive point, write a sentence that combines your need, context and a specific request. Ex.: “I feel overloaded at nights. Can we share the children’s bath routine this week?”

Directed Gratitude Diary

For five days, record on your cell phone a daily occasion when you noticed leadership of his. On the sixth day, deliver a note thanking and encouraging to continue.


Day 4: Purity and Gratitude – Protecting the Heart of the Home

Trust is the currency of a strong marriage. It is built with purity, truth and gratitude.

In Ephesians 5, Paul contrasts darkness and light, calling us a lifestyle that reflects Jesus in desires, conversations and choices.

Purity is not just sexual area; It is integrity in the whole: screens, words, moods and intentions. Gratitude, in turn, cleanses the vision and makes us celebrate the good of God.

When the couple decides to be light, it closes doors to the one who steals affection, time and focus. And joy finds abode.

unshakable marriage. Couple praying.
unshakable marriage. Couple praying.

Bible Reading: Ephesians 5:3-4, 8-10

“Among you there must be no mention of sexual immorality, as well as of any kind of impurity and covetousness; for these things are not suitable for the saints.

Let there be no obscenity, no foolish conversations, no immoral jokes; Such things out of place; But instead of thanksgiving. Because once you were darkness, but now you are light in the Lord.

Live as children of light (for the fruit of the light consists of all goodness, righteousness and truth) and learn to discern what is pleasing to the Lord.”

Ephesians 5:3-4, 8-10 (NIV)

Reflection:

The purity proposed by Paul is not moralism; It is love protection. Sin always promises quick pleasure, but it charges dearly with guilt, distance and distrust. Light, on the contrary, brings freedom, coherence and sustainable joy. A home of light is a safe place for the heart to rest.

Note the emphasis on speech: obscenity, foolishness and immoral jokes. Words create atmospheres. When we replace mockery with gratitude, the home breathes. Gratitude does not deny problems, but prevents them from defining the atmosphere of the house.

Discerning what pleases the Lord involves daily choices: media consumption, healthy boundaries, honest dialogue and accountability. In everything, love and respect in marriage bloom when the light governs small decisions.

Practical application:

Our practical application goes through 3 simple steps:

  1. Screen audit;
  2. Transparency Pact;
  3. Liturgy of Gratitude.

Screen Audit

For a week, record the time of use of networks and series. Eliminate content that feeds greed, comparison or rudeness. Replace with 20 minutes of Bible reading and light conversation before bed.

Transparency Pact

Create an agreement on shared passwords and weekly internet usage reports. The goal is security and peace, not hostile surveillance. Book a short check-in on Saturdays.

Liturgy of Gratitude

Every night, each one will say three specific gratitudes of the day related to the spouse. Register in a shared notepad and review at the end of the week.


Day 5: One Body, One Purpose – The Mission of the “We”

Marriage is not just about “going right”; It’s about revealing Christ. Ephesians 5 calls this union a “deep mystery”, a sign of the love between Christ and the Church. The home becomes a living parable of the gospel.

When husband and wife see themselves as one body, goals fail to compete and align with a common purpose: to glorify God.

Love and respect in marriage come to have an address: the mission.

This mission is expressed in serving, in blessing, in hosting, in educating, in working and in resting. Everything gains new meaning: together, in Christ, for the glory of God.

5-day plan love and respect in marriage (based on Ephesians 5)
5-day plan love and respect in marriage (based on Ephesians 5)

Bible Reading: Ephesians 5:31-33

“Therefore, the man will leave his father and mother and unite with his wife, and the two will become one flesh.

This is a deep mystery; But I refer to Christ and the Church. Therefore, each of you also loves your wife as yourself, and the wife treats the husband with all due respect.”

Ephesians 5:31-33 (NIV)

Reflection:

Let, unite and become one: three movements that define the alliance. Let breaks cluttered dependencies; Unite sets priority; Becoming a points to continuous growth, not an event. Marriage is a journey of heart alignment, agenda and vocation.

The “mystery” of marriage overcomes functionality and affections; He stages the gospel. Loving and respecting are not only convenient, they are testimony. The world reads God by observing how we treat ourselves, how we forgive and how we remain.

When the couple embraces a common purpose, decisions gain discretion and peace. Money, time, talents and homes become tools of the kingdom. On this route, love and respect in marriage mature and fruit naturally.

Practical application:

Our practical application goes through 3 simple steps:

  1. purpose plan;
  2. War Council (weekly);
  3. legacy in action.

purpose plan

Write a mission statement from the couple in 3-4 lines: central values, people who wish to serve and weekly practices that support it. put it in a visible place.

War Council (weekly)

Schedule 30 minutes at the beginning of the week to review agenda, finance, challenges and a service target (visit, encouragement, hospitality). End by praying for each other.

legacy in action

Choose a quarterly project (discipleship, mentoring, social action, reception). Define steps, deadlines and responsibilities. evaluate at the end of the quarter and celebrate.


Conclusion: love and respect in marriage

Throughout these five days, we revisit the heart of Ephesians 5. Imitate Christ, submit to each other, love sacrificially, respect in a way that builds, choose purity and assume a common purpose. We have seen that the gospel does not just save; It reconfigures words, routines, decisions and dreams.

The path is not instantaneous, but it is safe. Small steps, repeated with faith, generate profound changes. Where there are wounds, seek pastoral care and, if necessary, professional support. The love of Christ heals, protects and restores. He never endorses violence or control.

May the Holy Spirit make love and respect flourish in your marriage, giving you wisdom to build environments of honor, trust and mission. May the house become a beacon of hope, where Christ is seen in daily care, reconciliation and the joy of walking together. And that, in the end, everything in you points to the glory of God.


‘Jesus Christ: The Example of Love and Kindness’, a reflection by Charles Spurgeon

For a final reflection, listen to this brief message taken from a Charles Spurgeon’s Sermon. Play and be blessed!

Diego Pereira do Nascimento
Latest posts by Diego Pereira do Nascimento (see all)

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